Soporific

I'm just tired.

i've been really tired these few days.

come to think of it, that's why holidays are relaxing. you can't relax until you have been made tired, can you?

so stop that cynicism and complaint over how our 'holiday' as a student ain't really a holiday.

because you are tired, you are able to rest better. and because you are able to rest better, you are more relaxed. a holiday is when you relax.



then i remembered my personal vow to write a book. perhaps I shouldn't spend too much time on blogs. I don't know if blogging is good for me at all; Mere disorganised remarks, fragments of my thoughts --- perhaps it is making my writing so much more porous.


people always don't understand me, my writings neither. sometimes i feel lost and out of place... supposedly perfectly sensible stuff seems like nonsense to me. Perplexed, I am -- mystified at my intrinsic mystery. Sometimes i vie for your understanding....

...but why should I want you to understand me anyway?

Must I live to be a slave of your comprehension?


Two ants crawling along the wall, into collision course. I'm playing God, ain't I. They contacted, God, however, doesn't know what they did, then both of them proceeded off together in the same unified direction.

Must ants achieve bodily contact to communicate?

If humans had to, similarly, what would it be like?

Life's simple as an ant. No mobile phones, no money,... and they live on my wall. dammit. no rent too?


Have you watched Gone Baby Gone? It is an old movie already yea.. but still -
I like the way morality unfolds...

Moral dilemmas have been clouding my mind ever since i sat in those philosophy lectures. Reason and persuasion, and morality. Hah.. I simply love them. It is sad... to major in philosophy doesn't really give you much of an edge, except unless you want to be a teacher/lecturer in that area... most people will just hate you for being a pompous weirdo


have you ever realised that, despite all our advancements in science... we have yet to prove reality? I mean.. you have watched The Matrix right? How can you know that we aren't already living in that virtually constructed world? You say.. because of the dynamic nature of people around you? How about Artificial Intelligence for that... As in a computer game, you are interacting with AI or human players? This is essentially self-centric thinking, but if you cease to exist, the world (being your virtual creation) would therefore cease to exist.


I can't understand why you would want to do your homework.

sorry. just my stream of weary thoughts.

I'm just tired.