My Head

Awesome.

AtomFilms.com: Funny Videos | Funny Cartoons | Comedy Central

Mashed potatos are delicious; Mashed poems too!

Today was a long day, somewhat.

I daren't describe it to you for fear of making that primary school english composition mistake that I, amongst most people, commit. the dull, sequential, factual listing of events.

I was at NUS the whole day, from since the sky was drizzling hesitantly unto the dewy grass, to when the sky concealed the only 'dews' left -- on sundews.

I went for the USP creative writing 3 day workshop (no no no I was not at the workshop for the whole day there. just for the morning only!). Missed the first day on Monday. Went for the second day today. Already looking forward to Friday. Oh and to state the obvious -- it was interesting.

There was this Nature Walk activity which is more of a stationary walk actually, hence it is more like Nature Stand/Sit/Crouch. It was actually at what is like a mini-park, for those who know, it is that place below the Central Library with trees and grass and benches... yup. So it is just 15 minutes, writing about your experience right at that one spot, then presenting them to the class later.

I thought it would be easy.

So I decided to write about how 'nature' purifies us as we lose all our superficial identities (college student, programmer, blogger, wadeva-er...) ... standing there, metaphorically naked and being who we truly and simply are.

To my horror, the words wouldn't flow. Damn.

I suddenly realised how long since I've written anything descriptively. Have my thoughts dried up over time?

Then an ant bit me... and so inspiration gnawed unto me, quite literally.

After the 15 minutes, I had nearly a paragraph, and was trying hard to polish up here and there, like tiling the floor and painting the walls once a house has been built.

Then, we were instructed to contribute only one sentence, or phrase, which we think is the best of all that we've written. Ahh I should have paid more attention earlier, then I could have just worked hard on one sentence and not try to perfect an entire paragraph.

At random, we were picked to contribute, and the lines were stacked to construct a poem. You would think it is impossible that the poem make any sense, considering that random lines by random people were just mashed together, furthermore, without sorting.

But hey, I was pleasantly surprised at how cool it was that it all made sense -- somewhat. Here goes:

Playing the drums for a tribal sacrifice

There are holes in the sky

Part of a wall of trees that shields me from the forestry beyond

A breeze slips among the branches and shakes them, and the ground is suddenly spattered with drops of water

Brightening dead leaves

Forming blood bars of steel

From my arsenal of five I pick the pinky and I remove the ant from existence

To the East, a forest gleams with the sun

The trees, subcutaneous, wind their tendrils outwards in an expanding vortex of heretical invasion

Life crawls by

I suppose life is like that, we live it, lose it, forget it and move on

From the short thick fingers above, that lock each other in place like a jigsaw puzzle that forms a partially permeable umbrella

Pendulous swaying to the passing breath

Charred the water with my figments of memory

Sometimes I tell myself it would be interesting to be a tree, and then I wake up

Life surrounds and stings

Then the whir of mechanical beasts resounds overhead, and the moment is gone

The gauze canopy phases in and out with the light sifting through

Beautiful ain't it?

Oh I'll leave the guessing, as to which line is by me, to you. A tiny blatant clue, I already gave.

Today was a long day, somewhat

Soporific

I'm just tired.

i've been really tired these few days.

come to think of it, that's why holidays are relaxing. you can't relax until you have been made tired, can you?

so stop that cynicism and complaint over how our 'holiday' as a student ain't really a holiday.

because you are tired, you are able to rest better. and because you are able to rest better, you are more relaxed. a holiday is when you relax.



then i remembered my personal vow to write a book. perhaps I shouldn't spend too much time on blogs. I don't know if blogging is good for me at all; Mere disorganised remarks, fragments of my thoughts --- perhaps it is making my writing so much more porous.


people always don't understand me, my writings neither. sometimes i feel lost and out of place... supposedly perfectly sensible stuff seems like nonsense to me. Perplexed, I am -- mystified at my intrinsic mystery. Sometimes i vie for your understanding....

...but why should I want you to understand me anyway?

Must I live to be a slave of your comprehension?


Two ants crawling along the wall, into collision course. I'm playing God, ain't I. They contacted, God, however, doesn't know what they did, then both of them proceeded off together in the same unified direction.

Must ants achieve bodily contact to communicate?

If humans had to, similarly, what would it be like?

Life's simple as an ant. No mobile phones, no money,... and they live on my wall. dammit. no rent too?


Have you watched Gone Baby Gone? It is an old movie already yea.. but still -
I like the way morality unfolds...

Moral dilemmas have been clouding my mind ever since i sat in those philosophy lectures. Reason and persuasion, and morality. Hah.. I simply love them. It is sad... to major in philosophy doesn't really give you much of an edge, except unless you want to be a teacher/lecturer in that area... most people will just hate you for being a pompous weirdo


have you ever realised that, despite all our advancements in science... we have yet to prove reality? I mean.. you have watched The Matrix right? How can you know that we aren't already living in that virtually constructed world? You say.. because of the dynamic nature of people around you? How about Artificial Intelligence for that... As in a computer game, you are interacting with AI or human players? This is essentially self-centric thinking, but if you cease to exist, the world (being your virtual creation) would therefore cease to exist.


I can't understand why you would want to do your homework.

sorry. just my stream of weary thoughts.

I'm just tired.

Alas, normalcy.

I handled toxic chemicals. Osmium and more. Check.
I am not unhappy.
I crashed a lecture, Reason and Persuasion. Check.
I am happy.
I slept with the lights on, Twice and Consecutively. Check.
I am not unhappy.
I walked 4 traffic lights, under heavy rain, then realised that I started at my destination. Check.
I am happy.
I saw myself in a mirror tripping over a ledge. Check.
I am -
when I am me, Today is.