"I'm the gentleman you spoke to earlier."
"That would be for me to judge."
The immediate response in my mind was similar to that of the writer. I always feel, compelled, yet fearful, when I encounter something like that... whereby the line I read seems to be written by me, echoing exactly what I'm thinking.
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Click on the thumbnail above to enlarge it
permalink: http://www.newenglishreview.org/blog_direct_link.cfm/blog_id/14946
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Mary Jackson maintains "that a gentleman is a man who knows how to play the trombone but doesn't". In essence, she is saying that a gentleman is a humble man. Possibly, a man who also appreciates music and the arts.
While I do not disagree with her definition, I can't help but think that it is a tad too out-dated.
Well to be fair, the whole notion of 'gentleman' dates far, far back, into the Victorian era or thereabout. The associations of a gentleman back then, surprisingly, still seems stuck in our minds even till today... associations, like the iconic black hat, and the stick, and the coat that you would willingly place over a puddle of water for a lady to walk across...
Oh c'mon. I would think that in today's world, that idyllic impression has already been driven over, quite literally, by cars, and more ... cars, cash, CEO, even contraceptives, and whatever C's that you can come up with.
Perhaps, you may wan to try and consider the whole idea of the "(Victorian) gentleman" as a leftover fantasy... the silenced desire for someone to notice you, to respect you, and to hold the door open for you. Silenced. These little details that you desire so much are silenced by the "pursuit for happiness", an euphemism for a more sordid reality - the (selfish and vicious) struggle for money. In today's world, if you can play the trombone then play it. And play it loud so everyone hears it. Why keep be humble and it a secret? Today, play it. But not too loud, for they may go deaf; and not to proud, for your audience may be put off. Today, play it. Then get famous, then get rich, then purchase more fame, buy some friends, time, love......use that currency to construct your (false) reality the way you want it. Alright.. okay.. ok... I know.. I'm going too far.. but you get the idea.
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In fact, I've always wondered why people nowadays say "be a gentleman". Or at least, that is what we (as boys) were always told... "be gentlemanly", et cetera et cetera... My emphasis here, is on the word "be/ being". Even though they sound the same, I'd like to emphasise that there is a huge difference between "He is a gentleman" and "He is being a gentleman". The earlier, meaning an achieved state, and the latter, meaning a process towards that state.
Consider the letter from Rhidian Llewellyn:
"... the great advantage of being born a gentleman is that one never need behave like one."
Perhaps you may just want to read into that as a lampoon at the concept of "gentleman". Yea... it is like how being born a king means one doesn't necessarily have to possess great leadership skills and ethics. Similarly, born gentleman (societal class) doesn't mean being gentleman (behavior).
But take it seriously, and i reveals a greater truth (truth... defined by my subjective personal opinion). It is crucial, as you read on, to be extremely sensitive to the distinction between "be/ become" and "is/ are". If you are a gentleman, then you don't have to be a gentleman. This embodies a very important idea by Martin Heidegger ( INFO?
Martin Heidegger's "Being and Time" is a devotion to the understanding of the relationship between our "being" and "time".
You may want to consider future as the constant projection of every human being. Thus, life is the process of "becoming", being something.
Check out this link for more information on 'Dasein'..
Also consider reading this.) : Be Oneself. Be what you already are. "Be", is this sense, I emphasise again, denotes a process ('becoming'), a projection towards achieving the state of being "gentleman".
My personal take, is that a gentleman is simply a man who 'becomes' what he already is. In other words, he does not pretentiously try to be that stereotypical, traditional, out-dated, Victorian 'gentleman'.
Jean-Paul Sartre then adds on that he "cannot cease to believe that one is, and one is made of, whatever is made of one". However convoluted, basically, it simply means that, we are ourselves.
You are a gentleman (if there is even such a word), if you'd just be what you already are, not something else.
The immediate response in my mind was similar to that of the writer. I always feel, compelled, yet fearful, when I encounter something like that... whereby the line I read seems to be written by me, echoing exactly what I'm thinking.
------------
Click on the thumbnail above to enlarge it
permalink: http://www.newenglishreview.org/blog_direct_link.cfm/blog_id/14946
------------------
Mary Jackson maintains "that a gentleman is a man who knows how to play the trombone but doesn't". In essence, she is saying that a gentleman is a humble man. Possibly, a man who also appreciates music and the arts.
While I do not disagree with her definition, I can't help but think that it is a tad too out-dated.
Well to be fair, the whole notion of 'gentleman' dates far, far back, into the Victorian era or thereabout. The associations of a gentleman back then, surprisingly, still seems stuck in our minds even till today... associations, like the iconic black hat, and the stick, and the coat that you would willingly place over a puddle of water for a lady to walk across...
Oh c'mon. I would think that in today's world, that idyllic impression has already been driven over, quite literally, by cars, and more ... cars, cash, CEO, even contraceptives, and whatever C's that you can come up with.
Perhaps, you may wan to try and consider the whole idea of the "(Victorian) gentleman" as a leftover fantasy... the silenced desire for someone to notice you, to respect you, and to hold the door open for you. Silenced. These little details that you desire so much are silenced by the "pursuit for happiness", an euphemism for a more sordid reality - the (selfish and vicious) struggle for money. In today's world, if you can play the trombone then play it. And play it loud so everyone hears it. Why keep be humble and it a secret? Today, play it. But not too loud, for they may go deaf; and not to proud, for your audience may be put off. Today, play it. Then get famous, then get rich, then purchase more fame, buy some friends, time, love......use that currency to construct your (false) reality the way you want it. Alright.. okay.. ok... I know.. I'm going too far.. but you get the idea.
-------------
In fact, I've always wondered why people nowadays say "be a gentleman". Or at least, that is what we (as boys) were always told... "be gentlemanly", et cetera et cetera... My emphasis here, is on the word "be/ being". Even though they sound the same, I'd like to emphasise that there is a huge difference between "He is a gentleman" and "He is being a gentleman". The earlier, meaning an achieved state, and the latter, meaning a process towards that state.
Consider the letter from Rhidian Llewellyn:
"... the great advantage of being born a gentleman is that one never need behave like one."
Perhaps you may just want to read into that as a lampoon at the concept of "gentleman". Yea... it is like how being born a king means one doesn't necessarily have to possess great leadership skills and ethics. Similarly, born gentleman (societal class) doesn't mean being gentleman (behavior).
But take it seriously, and i reveals a greater truth (truth... defined by my subjective personal opinion). It is crucial, as you read on, to be extremely sensitive to the distinction between "be/ become" and "is/ are". If you are a gentleman, then you don't have to be a gentleman. This embodies a very important idea by Martin Heidegger ( INFO?
| Dasein: Being and Time | (hide) |
You may want to consider future as the constant projection of every human being. Thus, life is the process of "becoming", being something.
Check out this link for more information on 'Dasein'..
Also consider reading this.
My personal take, is that a gentleman is simply a man who 'becomes' what he already is. In other words, he does not pretentiously try to be that stereotypical, traditional, out-dated, Victorian 'gentleman'.
Jean-Paul Sartre then adds on that he "cannot cease to believe that one is, and one is made of, whatever is made of one". However convoluted, basically, it simply means that, we are ourselves.
You are a gentleman (if there is even such a word), if you'd just be what you already are, not something else.
posted by hweiee at
11:06 AM
5 comments
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5 Comments:
Actually I think that the fuss over the trombone is because the trombone isn't a grand-looking or sounding instrument.
It produces a whimsical playful sound, and being un-serious, it could be deemed "ungentlemanly"
With ref. to ur post on the makings of a gentleman, ur stand is that a gentleman is one who is true to oneself. But lets say someone is disrespectful, has poor manners etc, shouldnt this individual try to change to conform to the societal norms and expectations so as to become a socially accepted "gentleman", even if it means becoming "something else"
oh i didn't read it that way. your interpretation is interesting!
(I'm not that musically inclined, you see - my only knowledge is that the trombone as a western musical instrument)
However, I not able to follow why:
a gentleman is a man who knows how to play an instrument with a whimsical playful sound but doesn't, as it could be deem ungentlemanly.
I may be wrong, but I assume the trombone is usually played as part of an entire band/orchestra? Thus a gentleman rises to the occasion when necessary. He should play the trombone even if it doesn't grant him the grand-est role (nicest sounding instrument) within the band.
Shouldn't the very act of trying to change to conform to the societal norms to become a socially accepted "gentleman" be, in itself, considered a socially unacceptable pretense?
well, it's just my opinion...
in other words:
1) a gentleman is 'socially acceptable'.
2) but I'm not sure if painting a facade to achieve (1) is also socially acceptable.
anyway, i feel there isn't a need for such a word anymore (as mentioned in the post). "gentleman" should just be removed from the dictionary. you think?
Back to the trombone, I think that the gentleman knows how to play the trombone because he is supposed to be skilled in many areas.
However, he doesn't play it in order to maintain the solemn pride associated with gentlemen.
There is a bit of pretense, and the gentleman defined by this definition may not be deserving of all the positive connotations which the word "gentleman" suggests.
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